brides of christ.virgin clowns.crooked beehives.indigo children.see you in heaven.
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http://kittenkore.livejournal.com/2008/10/18/

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bit of post excitement blues. listening to ferron nonstop for one week and drawing in pajamas for three .
new work up soon.
love you all. hope yer well.
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:: newest venture ::

... we (agent soychia and agent deerborne) are a collective consisting of one part artist, one part eccentic, and a love of queer culture... This project serves as a experimental collaborative document to order the spaces between us. Currently we will be posting interviews between us and our dearest in hopes to celebrate their lives.

if you are interested in being interviewed for our zine please email me for more information. Thanks. We look forward to hearing from you!

please help us support this project:

- join us: zazzle.com/kittenkore
(20% goes to our funding towards moving to glossy)
- read us: kittenkore.livejournal.com
- friend us: myspace.com/kitten_kore

<3, agent deerborne

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a. began documenting journal project. still unsure about how much information to add or not. also not wanting to infringe on anyones privacy.(if your mentioned and would rather not be please let me know.)
b. Setting up etsy store ( nicolesfernandez.etsy.com ) to sell prints,small precious drawings and upcoming zines. link can be found under section of same name. listings will be up within the month.
i am excited. check it out soon!
c. watching "the clash: westway to the world"
d. running late to work. yikes!
e. as always love truely yours in the sincerity revolution

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(a) visited last night
""The Alligator

The Alligator has walked on Earth mother for millions of years and are known in many myths and lore as the keepers of ancient wisdom. Alligators hide themselves in water and mud waiting for unsuspecting creatures to happen by, and then snap. They eat any animal they can swallow and if they cant swallow it; they tear it into bite size pieces.
They only eat when they are hungry and do not consume food unnecessarily. Waste is not a part of alligator medicine. Those with this totem should be careful about over consumption. Digestive disturbances are common with alligator medicine people.
The eyes of the alligator are positioned high on their head allowing them to remain relatively hidden beneath the water and still see above it. Symbolically this hints to clairvoyant abilities.
Hiding in the water ties the alligator to the emotional body of man. The alligator holds the teachings of the discovery and the release of emotions that are locked beneath the surface.
Alligators dig deep burrows when the water is high so that during the dry season they can have a wet alcove to retreat to. These alcoves serve as reservoirs from which other animals can get water. Water is the nectar of life. The sharing of these reservoirs indicates the alligators respect for all life forms.
The power of alligator is its power to survive. They have no known predators. If alligator shows up in your life or in the dreamtime it might be telling you to take care of yourself and secure your basic survival needs.
Alligators come together only for reproduction. They have distinct individual personalities. Those with this totem are usually loners and only join together in groups when mandatory. Alligator medicine people can be great leaders. They know how to survive in any situation and are strong enough to hold their ground.
These fascinating creatures digest their food slowly. Those with this totem should remember to digest and assimilate all experiences thoroughly before moving forward in haste. Alligators teach the art of patience and appropriate timing. They know when to hide beneath the water, peak above it, or take action and snap."""
(http://www.sayahda.com/cycle.htm)
...brutality...


(b) updating images soon
(c) heavy on the universal trust, looking up medjigore(?) miracles,meditation on rose garden candles


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right alchemy

avalanche is starting, ready to be buried in finely chopped glitter and seeds.

lead = corazon de oro
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a."for the time being, at least, it doesn't matter. Simply accept that you're neither wasting your time nor making yourself seem foolish. " virgo horoscope, 4-14-08


b.Cuba

""The custom entered the country partly due to Spanish influence, but more so because of the French influence.[citation needed] Wealthy families, who could afford to rent luxurious halls at country clubs or 4/5-star hotels and to hire choreographers, were the actual pioneers of Quinceañeras.[citation needed] Although lower-income families could not afford the same display of wealth, they too started to celebrate Quinceañeras, which they called Quinces.[citation needed] Those celebrations usually took place at the home of the Quinceañera or at the more spacious house of a relative. Quinceañeras were very popular in Cuba until the late 1970s, yet the practice is still relatively common today.[citation needed]
In Cuba the Quinceañera is often considered to be one of the mo st important days of a young woman's life because it officially marks the transition from child to adult.[citation needed] Usually the quinceañera wears a big white dress.[citation needed]""

c.""Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty
in the moonlight
overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne,
she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah"""
1983, leonard cohen

i need to draw today, and it feels wonderful.
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(north) (holy dying)
the sensible gentry dreamed in off-white white
cutting edge contemporary colonization
clustering in faraway idols with business-as-usual successes
(bridal ants and owls)
humanly all knowing as past the i can see

more flight or fight
less fight (and) or fuck

"i love NY.NY"



(south)( holy living)
unstabling the hot carribbean roots
in laughing and crying simultaneously
salt rivers and turquiose arm badges
NEVER cut your m(v)a(i)ne
(birds,drag celebration)



the art critic said it was basic mesages
smash and grab

turn your insides inside
wear a bigger coat


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dock at night, simple light, deep blue shadows running across your face. like nights in sarasota where everything is quiet and takes on the profane. the way you look up and sigh, the twisting of the ring on your finger, looking up at the moon.

the dock breaks.
you fall under the waves.
i am alone
holding out my hand...

you become visible
the water glittering moves around to the sides of your body
as if you are being reborn.

i am still palms out.

i wake up.

some stories have no ending.
dreaming of oceans miles away from red brick queens.
i am excited for 2008 and the leaving behind the tears of may with the memory of violet perfume.

may you still be able to cry at beauty.
may you be able to feel safety.
may you see the places in your dreams.

love from my ribcage seeping out with energy

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a. organic apples...turqiouse waves forever..."dont stop believing"-journey..cheap fruit wine...loving the cliches...sharks in my heart...purple pants with studded boots...missing fla sunsets and fires near the pine trees...first footprints in the early snow..."girl you're not right"...a shot at love...white weddings...martha tv...the clash always...watching his face drop, play on player...
b. new project purposals
c. alot of new drawing to update before the year is up...
d. beautiful sculptures in my head that would like out please.

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Ft.Lauderdale
..violetas- cuban baby cologne
..vanilla fields- turning fifteen, silly love letters soaked in it
..victorias secrect 'pear glace'- first signature scent, everglades parties, visiting
p.l. at covenent house homeless shelters
..dior "hypnotic poison"- high school punk show,clove cigarettes,s.g. backseat full of
mtn dew bottles and rain puddles, wet beach hair, or what wasn't shaved off,
tabitha
Sarasota
..patchouli mix by rasta-freshman dorm, dreadlocks, AH, boy with einstein
hair who used to visit me and my pet frog, sid vicious
..nag champa- always for house or room
..dior "addict"- dark drunk nights in chicago, j.l. throwing up in the toliet, me in a
trash can, overwheming stillness in heart, meloncholly over knowing
everything was ending weirdly
NYC
..chanel "chance"- laguradia airport, nyc to fla, chelsea dorm,color pink,e.wears this
use as sheet spray
..ysl "babydoll"- fla break(??????)
..cacharel 'amor amor'- c.c.g. in st.pete, some gay club cc talking about a go-go
dancer who also coached softball (?????)
..demeter 'holy water'- day, grad school
..sandalwood oil,lotion- 2nd year grad school, dharma punx period, t.s. stole it from
whole foods
..prada 'prada'- family coming to thesis show, crying bc brother surprised me, still
wear on special occasions, Lower east side,saki bars,that bar that looks
like a trailer inside
..lancome 'hyponose'
..jo malone 'blue agave and cacao'-currently, cabs to niagra, cloister cafe
...lilacs- spring
..aveda 'shampure' and #9 - currently with black everyday
...sage,super hit, nagchampa- astoria house

things;people;places;
"grey gardens", "the beales of grey gardens","sick" documentries, amy winehouse, iced vanilla coffee all day,watching cardinals and wild rabbits in florida then talking about totems with my mom, good dreams,fashion district for supplies, "gelato grotto" with my peanut,eccentrics giving hope, loving most people i work with, bike rides, artist interviews, "wet: feminism and painting" by mira schor and her coming into my store to buy pressed powder ("aster", also bronzer sometimes) and talking about her tibetian scarf,sun after the storm,kissing cute boys, caffinated cleaning spurts, possible first ever interview with artsite in the next month (i'll let you know),dinner with shannon, postcards&sherbert with crisman (stop making me be a bitch!!), missing tabitha, new drawings, sleeping late, the artist way cult, writing, feeling on track again, talking to my san fran sweethearts more often.